Thursday, August 20, 2009

Weeping in my heart

When you are at the outside of the examination room, looking at the door, waiting for your turn, you wish not to go into it, maybe next time. When you come out from the room, you would say to yourself, 'Oh, how I wish I can enter it again. This time I can do better.' The room, there, was where I was accessed by the examiner. Two years hard work, ended in thirty minutes. *Weep. I remembered how I practiced hard until I felt I was going to break my fingers and I can feel the pain when I was moving them. These fingers must have wanted to rebel and trick their master on the day of examination for doing so. I felt like they were not mine, my fingers jerked and I could not press the key accurately, they just slipped every time I did the running on the keyboard. It seemed my hypothalamus was unable to control them today, I can't even start the first piece well and made many stupid mistakes throughout the song. Same thing happened in my second and third piece. A total humiliation of nine hundred and ninety nine zillion to a ten years pianist. I think I'm gonna fail again, I really don't want to fail the examination! Time, money and all the hard work are being wasted!

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